Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Empty Shell

I thought about you today. It's been a while since you've randomly popped up in my brain, but I know you're always there. I still love you, and miss you more than you could ever possibly know. Life is busy, which is nice because it piles stress and to-do lists in my mind, which pile on top of the thought of you and the pain that I get in my heart.

I remember how we used to be. I would just forget to breath around you. I was too busy to breath. I wanted every second with you to last forever, and I was afraid that if I let even one breath out, the moment would slip away. And you know what, it did, way too quickly.

I have been so blessed in my life to have so many people come in and out of my life, for whatever amount of time, and have each person mean so much to me. Even though they all meant so much to me, they all meant something different. I learned something from each one of those people, and there is a special place in my heart for them all.

Your place, I keep sacred. Hidden. I don't like to go to that place as much as I used to, because now that place seems empty without you. I feel like my soul was left behind, to follow you because it felt lost without you.

I've found my way in life without you, but it just doesn't feel the same. I have survived without you, like I knew I would, but it's not the same. I feel like an empty shell of of the person I used to be, walking around in a broken body. I know that this is the way it has to be, but I wish it could go back to the way it was.

I just wanted you to know that I thought about you. I still do. I always will.

♥ A

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